Recently one of my friend told me that one nice guy offered her to meet. “It’s really good!” she said. And then, almost apologetically, he added: “But I don’t want to meet him, although it may be worth it. Me he’s not attracted to, but he’s so good. Is it bad that I don’t want to meet him?”
I had dozens of similar conversations. To force yourself to love someone is not always obvious, though it sounds strange, but happens quite often. And it can happen to anyone. Maybe it’s even now happening to you.
If you feel that in your relationship something is wrong, consider the following 7 points. Do they describe your condition? Can you really force yourself to love.
1. Some part of you hopes that your partner will leave you.
When you force yourself to love your partner, it does not mean that you feel miserable in the relationship. You can be a very good person. But somewhere deep down you still kind of hoping that he’ll dump you (even if it will upset you). If so, you boost your feelings.
2. You are thinking, are there any happy relationship.
People can look at you and consider you a great couple. But maybe that’s only sometimes. And how do you see your future together? You find it hard to believe that you will always be happy? Happy relationships exist, but if you force yourself to love someone, it will be very hard to do all the time.
3. You became too emotional.
You become more worrisome since the beginning of the relationship? You began to cry without apparent reason? Everyone has emotional breakdowns, but if this was to happen to you too often, the cause can be your relationship. You may not realize it, but when you force yourself to love someone, you suppress your instincts and prevent to be out real emotions, resulting in a chaos inside of you.
4. You are so afraid to hurt someone, avoid this, even if it hurts yourself.
When you know that someone loves you, it’s hard to hurt him — even if it is in the long term will hurt you. Maybe a lot of people have done for you. Maybe he or she continues to seek you, to care for, to confess in love. And when this good man, it’s hard to tell him that you don’t see a future together. But postponing the breakup you will make him/her sicker.
5. Are you tired of failures.
If you already went several times and each time your partner back to you, begging for another chance, eventually you just give up. But if you are confident in your feelings, what you want to end it all, then you need to close the door once and for all. Studies show that couples that constantly converge, diverge, less satisfactory relationship than the other.
6. You desperately want to be in a relationship.
Desperation rarely leads to good decisions. There is one secret that everyone should know: if you are unhappy alone, you will be unhappy in the relationship until you change your life. Relationship or the other person will not automatically make you happy.
7. “He’s good, but…”.
If the person is just good, this does not mean that you have to meet him. If you constantly justify your relationship, think about why you really are. The world is full of good people. But you both deserve to be in a relationship where your partner doesn’t want you to change.