How to communicate with touchy people

Как правильно общаться с обидчивыми людьми

If in your environment there are also people who are able to spark a conflict from scratch and do not adequately respond to in any detail (to the extent that you declare a boycott or think of revenge pasadenae), then surely you know how difficult it is to return them to the location and re-establish communication. How to behave with touchy personalities, not to make trouble (and enemies) in the material”Forget me and my name” …If you’re exhausted trying to figure out why all of a sudden people in your environment suddenly ceased to you to say Hello, and began to build a sour face, as soon as you get into his field of vision, the more likely you were “under the hand”, regardless of whether you hurt the feelings of the individual or not. Psychologists claim that often such touchy personalities are driven by one desire — to get his at any cost, so they don’t come up with anything better than to pretend to be offended and begin to manipulate others. In some cases this behavior is triggered the best way possible and now the “abishekam” start offer all sorts of bonuses, only to return to their location. And even is only right. They got what they wanted or even more.Another thing is, if their expectations are not met. Then go into all the techniques — from pressure on the pity to blackmail. If we give in to provocations and, at least once to go on about them, then it will have to perform all their whims the first click (as you did last time did so well, so now you can use you for a specific purpose). And here is the usual “Sorry!” will not help, otherwise you will declare almost enemy number 1 and will tell everyone what a bad person. It is still possible to experience, when it comes to someone else (well, I think, a passerby was offended that you accidentally stepped on his foot, you did apologize in the end), and when it comes to your loved ones — friends, parents or partner? There’s just so will not dismiss and will not will have to compromise and agree to the requirements of the person. How correctly to build dialogue, to not make enemies?Just let them know that you is not proindependence tormented by guilt and change your attitude to the situation. And often, remind yourself that you did not want specifically to hurt the person, but if the individual decided otherwise and now you require some kind of compensation, it is his problem, not yours. Learn how to say no to people (not to be rude and not play with them in game “if you’re offended by that, then I am”), and then you will not blame yourself and beat yourself up all sorts of “what I would do, not to accidentally hurt someone’s dignity). Try to do what dictates your conscience and then such incidents will occur as rarely as possible, believe me.Mark your gramicidine understand “obizhenku” that will not be to beg his forgiveness, but only to apologize and try to prevent a repeat of the situation. But at the same time mark the boundaries that you are not going to cross just to please a man. Psychologists warn that if you build that communication so that you’re really sorry, but get over yourself, you will not, then get ready for what you will use for any reason, regularly reminding you of your faults and the need to make amends before that time, you will not forgive (and it can occur very soon).Discuss what hurt chelovechestva to avoid such reaction in future, will cause a person to have a Frank conversation and ask them to explain what made him so hurt. Because maybe you didn’t mean anything bad, but someone took things personally and was offended in earnest. Besides, it will be easier to correct their behavior or even to limit the communication with the individual (as possible). Only discuss what his attitude to the situation, not your misses, and in any case do not stoop to reproaches and accusations, so as not to escalate the situation to the limit.Offer a way out of the current situacijose you give people the opportunity to speak out and understand what it touched, and offer together to find solutions to in the future to avoid such problems. So you show that you are ready to do something now to eliminate the possibility of recurrence in the future. But in this case, if you continue you will need to maintain a relationship with this person (and there is no way to completely eliminate it from your life).Be neustoichivostei expect that people will listen to you and immediately change their behavior. On the contrary, prepare to irritation and the usual manipulations, with which you will try to do something as an apology. Try to show character and not go into open conflict, it is better to politely but firmly explain your position and repeat that again to apologize, but to do something for “smoothing his guilt,” you just will not be. And in any case do not make excuses, or “obizhenku” feel the slack and increase their pressure. Psychologists calm that usually only a couple of such incidents (and durability) to show the person that you this will not work. Next will be a fairly conventional “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend you”, to show that you’re really sorry and you will try not to do that.In any case do not consider yourself vinovatye once you give up the slack and agree that you are the main source of all the troubles that occurred with the man, then consider that he achieved what he wanted, and now you are completely in his power. Be prepared for the fact that you are forced to atone in every way possible and to fulfill every whim “obizhenku”. If you don’t feel guilty, just explain to the person, stressing that will not go on about him and will not sacrifice their principles just to please him.Limit obsenely you continuously take offense or friends, then think about how often you need such communication? If you really want to maintain a relationship with people who constantly manipulate you and are looking for the benefits of their grievances. According to psychologists, the best thing you can do in this situation is to slowly reduce contact with such people on (not to cut hot, and it smoothly to pull away from them). This way you will save your psychological health and getting rid of toxic personalities, toxic your life such behavior.