To improve relations with the relatives of the husband it is possible if to identify the causes of problems and try to fix them.
Problems in relations with her husband occur in many women. Find out the causes of their appearance and learn to overcome difficulties, informs Rus.Media.
Why is there a problem
There are several reasons for problems in the relationship with her husband.
You do not meet the expectations of the family, and the options may be few. First: relatives of the husband created a perfect image of the bride and does not fit. Second option: on your place parents saw a specific girl. Third option: the relatives of a man found you have some qualities that are unacceptable.
The jealousy of the relatives, especially this applies to the mother. She raised her son, had put my heart and soul, and suddenly he left home and fell in love with another woman. If your husband is the only child in the family, the situation can be extremely difficult.
Misunderstandings motivated by different differences. They can be associated with the choice of name for a child, kindergarten or school, the purchase of housing for young families and so on. Of course, smart people will solve the issue calmly and peacefully, but, unfortunately, this is not always the case.
You think that her husband spends with family longer than you, pays much attention to them. If so, then the experience is justified, and they should tell her husband. But most often, women have such thoughts the banal jealousy.
The child as an object of competition among relatives, and your husband. They can “fight” for the right to spend more time with him, to participate actively in education to make important decisions and so on. Such “race” can escalate into conflict between your family and her husband’s family, and sometimes in strife enters the third party, you and the husband who are trying to change the situation.
Cause of problems can become and the man himself, influenced by relatives, especially if it is negative and leads to conflicts in your family. In this case, the situation will not change until people will not change their attitude towards family ties, will prioritize and will not change tactics of behavior.
The dependence of the husband from the parents: it can be psychological or material, but in any case to get rid of her will not be easy, especially if it will prevent the father and mother of the husband.
Sometimes conflicts with in-laws arise from the women themselves who behave inappropriately, trying to pressure her husband to stop his contact with the family and do not take into account the opinions of others.
If the problem is in the relatives
How to improve relations with the relatives of the husband, if cause of problems are they? In this case, you should stay with them for a Frank serious conversation and to dot the “i”. Tell them about your experiences, ask yourself, what is it you are not satisfied. But don’t expect honest answers: relatives can pretend that everything is in order. In any case, focus on the fact that you are who you are, but you love your husband and try to do everything to make him happy. In addition, be sure to tell that you are not going to pick up my son at my parents and in no way will interfere with communication.
If you have any disagreements or conflicts, try to find a compromise. Define the subject of the dispute and try to calmly discuss, to find common ground. For example, if relatives are competing for the right to be closer to her grandson, it makes sense to set the schedule so everyone was happy and talking with the child.
If relatives are trying to put pressure on her husband and you, then clearly define their point of view and let everyone know that will not retreat from its opinion and in any case will do as they see fit. But, listen to the other side and note that if also realize that some advice is useful, then by all means use it.
If the problem is in the man
What if a man depends on your relatives or is their impact? Frankly talk to him. But do not reproach him, do not blame and do not make claims, otherwise the man will become angry and will seek to do everything contrary, and the situation will only worsen.
Calmly share your experiences, so that people understand what you are concerned. If he tries to get in your position, the conversation can be productive. But, unfortunately, so happens not always. Some men were unaware of the problems and blame women. If you have encountered misunderstanding, then set certain rules that will apply in your family. If the husband refuses to comply with them, put the question squarely. Unfortunately, the man may not accept your ultimatum, and to the side of the family, and this, in turn, will provoke the disorder.
Tip: family problems, should not make on the General browse. Solve them at home, with each other, not to make a General overview and not to have new reasons for discussion and criticism.
If the problem is you
To admit guilt is never easy, especially if we are talking about the relationship with her husband. But try to objectively analyze their behavior. Honestly answer a few questions. Not jealous if you husband? Do not interfere with his communication with his relatives? Not behave aggressively or arrogantly with his parents in the second half?
If you have realized that the problem lies in you, you will have to work on yourself. To get rid of jealousy will not be easy, and to do that, understand that the relatives of the husband too him to the native people just like you, so it needs to communicate with them. You can attend meetings or arrange them yourself on its territory, but also do not refuse invitations.
When dealing with her husband’s relatives behave naturally. Not letti and don’t try in every way to please, stay calm, even if you think that native skeptical (maybe it’s just your assumption). If you feel hostility to parents or relatives of her husband, try to remain neutral and not to show their emotions. Of course, you can stop any contacts, but it would be wrong and disrespectful to her husband.
Finally, tips that will help to solve the main problems in the relationship with her husband:
- Talk about your feelings and experiences, and openly, honestly and calmly. Share them with not only man, but also to the family: may they realize their mistake and will change the attitude and Poveda to you.
- Do not succumb to provocations and keep calm, even if it will not be easy. Openly showing emotion, you show weakness, that will be one more reason to dislike you.
- Set the boundaries and mark them for all relatives of the husband. But do not break such a framework.
- Prioritize and determine what is more important: peace in the family or the approval of the relatives of the husband.