Veronika Romanovskaya, female psychologist, author of training the expert in creating family values and self-realization — fundamente 4 Stolbov the modern world a woman can be difficult. If earlier it was possible to run a household and raise children, now we need to in addition be able to provide for themselves, grow as a professional. If you had the parents decided who to marry, now the choice is to do yourself! Therefore, without self-sufficiency of the modern woman can not do.Why self-sufficiency? Trapped in relations of dependence, financial or psychological, a woman much to be vulnerable, becomes a victim of circumstances and her easy to manipulate. It is undervalued. Dependent on the job the woman works like a horse for the whole division. Sometimes resigned to the circumstances, sometimes justifying their honesty and diligence. But in fact it is a variant of weaknesses. And that needs to change! Many women wonder how to get this power, being able to stand up for themselves and make decisions not on emotions but with the future in mind? Self-sufficiency is the Foundation for the 4 pillars.No wonder the philosopher said that being determines consciousness. The first Foundation pillar of self sufficiency is financial. It is difficult to talk about regardless if to buy food and nice things money is not enough. All the main women need to provide for themselves. How? This can be obtaining a marketable profession, the creation of passive income (the purchase of real estate for rent, etc.), investment, etc., even the establishment of useful contacts and conversations about where you wanted to work.Never miss the chance. I want to see, it does not contradict the idea that to provide for the family needs a man. In everything there is balance. Learn with gratitude and joy to take the money as a gift and take care of strong sex! Let this support you will be a nice addition, but not the only option! The second pillar of self-sufficiency — self-esteem. Self. Assessment. What you think and know about themselves and their qualities. Many women, as soon as I hear this phrase, immediately begin to say that they are little able, to critique, to complain. Stop here! It is 100% the victim’s condition. Helpless girl from childhood, which criticized. Often because they taught their mom and their moms mom. But times are changing. And saved need.Want to be self-sufficient — learn to notice their good qualities, to give them more value than the drawbacks. Praise yourself as you wish you were praised by the parents. Don’t be greedy! Be critical, but not hard on yourself. Be sure to treat yourself for the work done and just. This will help you not to dissolve the marriage or at work, do not lose awareness of yourself as an individual. What else can help improve self-assessment?The third pillar — constant self-development. even for a pile of domestic duties to devote time to reading, creativity, sport, communication with people. You can imagine what kind of woman believes in himself? Which attentive and blazing eyes. Which is maintained and implemented. Your development of yourself inside and out is the only guarantee of preservation of interest to you from the opposite sex, especially if you are already out of “girl’s” age. A woman who does something outside the home and of work is always interesting and my husband and other men. Will definitely continue to develop their a couple of Hobbies that you do in your free time, but hone your skills as if I was doing professionally. No dirty plate should not hinder you to lead an interesting life! But it could easily be a cover to avoid discomfort of novelty. Difficult to catch? Invest in a dishwasher and get the time!And last main pillar of self-sufficiency — self-confidence and the ability to build personal boundaries. This is a very important feature of an independent and strong woman that you want to cultivate anyway. If you give up the slack, if you allow someone to violate your boundaries, then it will happen more and more often. It’s hard to trust yourself when someone else’s opinion becomes more important than their own.You are not obliged to obey her husband or boss. And nowhere is it written that their opinion is more important than yours. Keep this in mind. Everyone should know: there is a line that one cannot cross, and that line you have to protect, as the guard protects the borders of their native country. Quietly, but with consequences for saboteurs.With the protection of their personal boundaries involves the ability to react to offenses, and resentment on the part of men. It is impossible to show that any mistake will be forgiven, that you are ready to close eyes to any trick. Should be built in the rules of how you can communicate, and that can never be. It is important to tell about their rules and see what rules he has. Rudeness, brutality or physical violence will cost him dearly and it is possible that about the relationship with you, he generally will have to forget. But for affection, attention, support and care you thank him with a smile, positive emotions and care.Independent woman who takes care of herself is always a welcome and interesting. The less you waste effort on the negative, the more energy and opportunities. Live in good relations with them.