From any of the usual judgments, which are quoted at us as an afterthought, should be abandoned.
Every parent wants their child only the good. But in the process of education do not always manage to restrain negative emotions. We sometimes speak of phrases, which are damaging to child’s psyche. From any of the usual judgments that we have pulled out mechanically, it is better to refuse, informs Rus.Media.
“Do not know how – do not touch!”
Small children are often clumsy. They break things, scatter cereals, shed water, just throw the washed clothes, but don’t mean it. They just do not have enough skills, well-developed fine motor skills.
Parents have no patience to wait when the baby will be able to cope with a particular task and they prefer to perform it yourself, along the way saying is detrimental to children’s self-esteem phrase.
“You’re doing it on purpose?”
So parents often say when a child persistently repeats an action that annoys them. But baby may not always be aware of what annoys the parents, and the question put in this form, if it exposes bad intentions. The child feels threatened, but may not realize what exactly is her fault. The benefit of the doubt either. At the level of sensations there is a feeling that the parents found the child guilty, and nothing can be changed. This creates impotence.
“All children as children, and you…”
No one likes being compared to others. Young children are very important to know that parents love them for who they are, and that love will not disappear. Only feeling secure, the child will be able to significantly develop their talents.
And after these words, all she can feel is not up to some invisible planks and disappointing parents. There is a feeling of inferiority, a constant background fear of making mistakes and incurring parental wrath.
“In this house, nothing of yours is!”
The phrase parents often use to address adolescents. So they want to emphasize their contribution to the development of the child, to designate the number of nested resources: emotional, time, financial.
Adolescents also perceive it as an insult. They are deprived of the right to personal property, emphasize the inability to earn. Such words stir the desire as quickly as possible to leave home and never accept any help. This contributes to a trusting relationship.
“Calm down, quickly!”
Every adult knows that nothing is more offensive than the demand in their address immediately to calm down. But for some reason we often say kids these unpleasant words without thinking. From the point of view of parents, actuators for baby crying are rarely significant. In addition, the children crying loudly, and it is very annoying.
Unfortunately, rude cries, the child begins to cry even more. To be able to calm her down, parents should not give vent to his irritation. You cannot act from a position of strength.
All these phrases we say most often automatically without even pondering their meaning and reasoning about the effect produced. Therefore adults should be more attentive to his words and learn to control your anger. We are adults!