Sexual harmony: how to choose a partner who will not change

Сексуальная гармония: как выбрать партнера, который не будет вам изменять 

Entering into a lasting relationship, we rely on the exceptional loyalty and dedication of our partner. And, of course, every woman would like in advance to provide a cushion and to learn whether the beloved faithful in sorrow and in joy. To examine this question took the psychologists from the University of Quebec, headed by Valeria Gilbo. The results of their work, scientists published in the journal “Social and Personal Relationships”Factor neurocytoma betrayal and loyalty has always been a subject of interest of psychologists, in which they managed to identify a number of factors that help to predict the probability of deviations of a partner from the course of exclusive relationships, and going on the side.Until recently, one such factor was gender. According to numerous research, men more often than women had sexual partners outside of marriage and public relations. Recently, however, the gap started to reduce significantly and the concept of gender equality was spread to infidelity. Men and women began to deceive each other with almost equal frequency. Is about 13% of unfaithful partners begin to look to the side after 10 months of beginning a serious relationship.The second factor that can indicate problems are one of the partners with loyalty is the avoidance of attachment. People that have a sense of attachment, find effective ways to overcome the inevitable conflicts that will sooner or later arise in any relationship.Partners, avoidant attachment, at the first sign of trouble in the best case go away, at worst — breaking up with me. Those who are not capable of radical actions or choose not to act rashly, begin to seek sexual relationships on the side, to avenge their half, to silence the feeling of loneliness or self-esteem.The third factor psychologists call a person’s attitude to casual sex. People who firmly believe in sex as an expression of love within certain relationships, rarely looking to the side, rather than those who are used to change sexual partners like gloves.For example, a former playboy who is used to regular sexual pleasures with different women, is unlikely to settle down and become exemplary husband.However, there are exceptions, though rarely, when growing up and coming into maturity, “Casanova” pass on the monogamous side.And finally, one of the most important factors is sexual attraction, the intensity of which is different for each person. On this basis, it becomes apparent that people are indifferent or have a sufficiently relaxed attitude to sex, is not as such a stimulus treachery and adventure on the side. Whereas the partners with high sex drive of temptations, much more, especially if their sexual needs are repeatedly unmet in their relationship.Sexy stratejileri Guilbaud and her colleagues believe that there is one personality trait underlying the above factors which can exactly predict whether the partner to change. They call this trait “sexual passion”, which is determined by the intensity of sexual desire and attitude of the person towards sex.People with a high sexual passion view sex as a defining feature of his life. They constantly think about sex and regularly engaged in intimate relations.Psychologists divide “sexual passion” into two types: harmonious and obsessive. This classification is based on the theory of “locusmag control” proposed in the 1950s, the American psychologist Julian Rotter.The locus or path of control is the attribution of the causes of human behavior external or internal factors. According to this theory, people with internal locus of control consider themselves masters of life, keep any situation under control and believe that anything is possible. They are confident and have high self-esteem. Such people are rarely susceptible to depression and anxiety disorders.In contrast to this type of people, the owners of external locus of control believe that events in their lives driven by external forces — be it fate, luck or the actions of others. As a result, they often suffer from low self-esteem and neurotic disorders.Based on the model loci of control, scientists came to the conclusion that people with a harmonious sexual passion completely in control and responsible for their sexuality.They consciously choose when and with whom to have sex, so they don’t have to choose between her sexual passion and other aspects of their lives.People with compulsive sexual passion feel driven and powerless in their sexual thoughts and beliefs, what makes them from time to time to give in to their weaknesses and succumb to temptation, giving a full account of the fact that nothing good will come of it.Sweet deceiver or man of destiny?Canadian psychologists have suggested that people with obsessive sexual passion, are more prone to deception and adultery, further confirming their hypothesis in two studies. In the first case, over 600 young people answered questions aimed at assessing harmonious and obsessive sexual passion, and frankly told about all cases of cheating to their partners. As expected, individuals with an obsessive sexual passion have committed far more acts of infidelity than people with a harmonious sexual passion.Attaining the desired results, the scientists decided to go further and ascertain whether, knowing about the obsessive sexual passion of their partner, to predict future infidelity. In continuation of the experiment involved 84 people who were under the supervision of psychologists for 10 month. At the beginning of the study, participants answered questions that assessed their levels of harmonious and obsessive sexual passion.Ten months later they had to answer the question, did they have sex with anyone other than their mate. As expected, participants with compulsive sexual passion, reported a much bigger number of cases of infidelity than participants with a harmonious relationship.The researchers also studied the causes of infidelity the participants in the experiment. The most popular answer among both groups of respondents there was a strong physical attraction to the object of sudden passion. In addition to this reason, participants with compulsive sexual passion there were many other reasons for cheating.Among them was the desire to take revenge on the partner, increase self-esteem and the need to conform imaginary social beliefs, for example, the idea that “real men” must be a lot of sexual partners.In conclusion, this study, the researchers not only shared their insights, but also gave recommendations on the choice of a partner.Men who see themselves as controlled by external forces, most often deceived and are wrong, especially if they are inner qualities of obsessive sexual passion.So try to stay away from individuals who consider themselves victims of circumstances. Infidelity is just one of the many bumps that can cause such partners.Those who consider themselves masters of their own destiny and have a high harmonious passion, most likely, will be not only great lovers but also partners, worthy to go with the woman in life. High self esteem and belief in their own power such men, moves them to create a solid relationship that they are struggling to keep.

Share Button