Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood for today 13 February 2018

Jokes for a good mood for today 13 February 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на сьогодні 13 лютого 2018


– Every movement in the ballet is called “PA”.

Means to become a parent, you need to make at least two movements …


Wife – husband:

– Idiot! I asked you two nails in the wall to score!

I killed …

– Smitten? ! Where am I now iron include going to be?


– Tell me darling why you’re doing meatballs of different sizes?

– But, my dear, you said you wanted to diversify our food …


Talking to two entrepreneurs:

Listen, why to your is listen and my from!

Because mine is whisper!


Loved the experience with her grandson: I took a woman of about forty, and he himself, an old woman of thirty, and we had so much fun.


After his sports career, all Norwegian skiers recover and stop taking meds from asthma.


My wife decided to lose weight and started riding.

– Well, how?

The horse has lost 5 kg!


Wife went on a new car of her husband, and after hour calls:

– Dear, at me for you two news: good and bad!

Start with the good news.

– The airbag deployed!


Why are women in leather, lacquer and rubber so excite men?

It smells like a new car.


Yesterday at the bus stop saw a girl truly transitional age.

In one hand she held a cigarette and in the other a Lollipop.


Man trying to cross the street on forbidding signal of a traffic light, approaching a huge truck, the pedestrian starts to rush about on the road. The truck stops, the driver:

– Well, what do you revolve like the skin on the penis, and I’ll go out, and you will fall and not get up!


A young breathless woman stops a taxi:

– In maternity home, please!

The taxi driver presses on the gas.

– Don’t ride like a madman. I work there.


Recognition in the verses to the girl, written by a nail on the hood of the car her dad, is a genuine interest in law.


The phrase of the chief “I had an interesting, promising idea!”- a sure sign that you have boring, stupid work.


Trump approved the list of Russian officials who can be threat for the United States.

Russian officials, dangerous for Russia, this list is not ranked.


– I went recently with friends of nature, and, as usual, cotacts, cotacts, then another stocc …

So what?

– So before lunch, twelve acres and dug up.


– My wife is on a diet sat, and do not eat after six o’clock.

– And how it can withstand?

– Usually seven or seven thirty.


If I stop drinking, learn from my friends at 3am that I love, appreciate and respect ?!


You’re lonely? Are you bored? You monotonous?

Get husband the alcoholic, and your life will become a perpetual holiday!


Forgot keys at home. Go home, call my wife:

The keys of the house forgotten!

– Come. I’ll get the door.

With me she spoke, crept into the idea …


– I’m in trouble. The wife found out I was cheating on her.

– Nothing, your wife is a strong woman.

– That’s what scares me.


The General walks into the barracks and says:

– You can congratulate me: my wife gave birth yesterday to triplets.

Ordinary choir:

Glad to be of service sir!


Blonde in the foreign car is not giving way at appropriate sign and crashed into the “Volga”.

Out of it comes an old man and sad so asks:

– Girl, you right sort of exam generally passed on?

– Yes-Ah! And unlike you, grandfather many times!


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