Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood for today 13 February 2018

Jokes for a good mood for today 13 February 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на сьогодні 13 лютого 2018

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– Every movement in the ballet is called “PA”.

Means to become a parent, you need to make at least two movements …

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Wife – husband:

– Idiot! I asked you two nails in the wall to score!

I killed …

– Smitten? ! Where am I now iron include going to be?

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– Tell me darling why you’re doing meatballs of different sizes?

– But, my dear, you said you wanted to diversify our food …

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Talking to two entrepreneurs:

Listen, why to your is listen and my from!

Because mine is whisper!

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Loved the experience with her grandson: I took a woman of about forty, and he himself, an old woman of thirty, and we had so much fun.

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After his sports career, all Norwegian skiers recover and stop taking meds from asthma.

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My wife decided to lose weight and started riding.

– Well, how?

The horse has lost 5 kg!

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Wife went on a new car of her husband, and after hour calls:

– Dear, at me for you two news: good and bad!

Start with the good news.

– The airbag deployed!

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Why are women in leather, lacquer and rubber so excite men?

It smells like a new car.

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Yesterday at the bus stop saw a girl truly transitional age.

In one hand she held a cigarette and in the other a Lollipop.

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Man trying to cross the street on forbidding signal of a traffic light, approaching a huge truck, the pedestrian starts to rush about on the road. The truck stops, the driver:

– Well, what do you revolve like the skin on the penis, and I’ll go out, and you will fall and not get up!

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A young breathless woman stops a taxi:

– In maternity home, please!

The taxi driver presses on the gas.

– Don’t ride like a madman. I work there.

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Recognition in the verses to the girl, written by a nail on the hood of the car her dad, is a genuine interest in law.

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The phrase of the chief “I had an interesting, promising idea!”- a sure sign that you have boring, stupid work.

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Trump approved the list of Russian officials who can be threat for the United States.

Russian officials, dangerous for Russia, this list is not ranked.

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– I went recently with friends of nature, and, as usual, cotacts, cotacts, then another stocc …

So what?

– So before lunch, twelve acres and dug up.

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– My wife is on a diet sat, and do not eat after six o’clock.

– And how it can withstand?

– Usually seven or seven thirty.

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If I stop drinking, learn from my friends at 3am that I love, appreciate and respect ?!

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You’re lonely? Are you bored? You monotonous?

Get husband the alcoholic, and your life will become a perpetual holiday!

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Forgot keys at home. Go home, call my wife:

The keys of the house forgotten!

– Come. I’ll get the door.

With me she spoke, crept into the idea …

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– I’m in trouble. The wife found out I was cheating on her.

– Nothing, your wife is a strong woman.

– That’s what scares me.

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The General walks into the barracks and says:

– You can congratulate me: my wife gave birth yesterday to triplets.

Ordinary choir:

Glad to be of service sir!

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Blonde in the foreign car is not giving way at appropriate sign and crashed into the “Volga”.

Out of it comes an old man and sad so asks:

– Girl, you right sort of exam generally passed on?

– Yes-Ah! And unlike you, grandfather many times!

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