Jokes for a good mood for today 13 March 2018.
The abuser came to the tavern:
– What is your signature dish?
– One moment …
Then I 2 of the tube.
If a woman earns more than man, it is somewhat upsetting to a husband who works.
But not upsetting a man who is not working.
– Maybe progulyala?
– Come on! And we did not sleep?
– And who lost ?! – said the Director of the mathematics teacher.
Met a guy with a girl
– what are you doing? studying, working?
– work on the farm …
what’s wrong with that?
why? mingoli on the farm. Maini crypt
I eat Breakfast yourself, share lunch with him and dinner, I give my … language.
Since language is my enemy!
At our resort was a new wave of optimization:
– number of cleaners and nurses halved
– the salary remained cut by 25%,
– introduced the position of Deputy Director for optimization, which was occupied by the nephew of the Director.
Please do not be impertinent with me, because then I have to be rude to you, and I do it much better than you.
I flew once aliens over the Earth. Tried to find out if there’s intelligent beings or not?
Caught electromagnetic radiation from the Earth, learned to decipher.
You see, for several months these creatures of the earth discuss in turn the divorce of Armen Dzhigarkhanyan, the illegitimate son of Spartacus Msona.
– Well, then, intelligent beings here! – aliens and calmly flew away.
Out on the street. Frost minus twenty, vtime twenty.
But it warned about the negative consequences of Global Warming.
– Helen, Hello, happy holidays!
Oh, my God, is that you?
– No, Sasha.
– You used to like stamps collected?
– What are you, I have long been on the Euro moved.
– Hello, this is the company Samsung?
– So I’m listening.
– Yesterday I bought a heavy duty cleaner.
– Why so bad?
– I’m calling from the dust bag. Help!
– This shampoo strengthens hair from the inside …
– I have a hair inside ?!
– You have no idea Gogia, how hard it is to lose a wife!
And ne say, Vano, is almost impossible.
That not only are men to get a woman into bed!
And what is a bed do not make women to drag men to the wedding ceremony!
Woman comes to the clinic and sees a man in a white robe.
Turns to him:
Excuse me, are You a gynecologist?
The man, casting her gaze, responds:
– No, but I can also see.
Got one married to a master of sports.
After than three days to the wedding she goes to work, black clouds.
– Well, as your master of sports in bed?
– Oh, and don’t ask: it turned out he the master of sports in downhill.
Husband rings the doorbell to a neighbor, she reveals.
– Good afternoon, I’m your new neighbor.
– Top or bottom?
Direct so soon?
We doctors are struggling with the disease.
As officials with corruption.
My wife is an ardent fan of the raw food diet.
My did not know how to cook!