Jokes for a good mood for today 14 February 2018.
– What do you think a couple of frogs and a couple of lovers sitting on the banks of the river?
– God forbid stork will arrive.
The couple went to a restaurant for dinner.
They literally devour each other eyes:
– You’re so sweet, I could eat you whole …
– And I do too…
The waiter coughed and asked:
– And to drink something are you?
Husband: Honey, where’s the sugar?
Wife: In five years, muddle, could learn
sugar in a jar of coffee that says “Salt.” But now there is none.
medical Institute. Starts the lecture. professor:
– Before to start my lecture, I want to tell you a story.
In my youth, I and a friend have been in love with a girl .. Now,
I stayed with the nose … And my friend without a nose.
Write the topic of the lecture: “Syphilis and its symptoms”
– Nobody loves me.
– I love you.
– Really hard to be quiet and listen?.
– Honey, I can’t sleep.
– This is normal. Evil never sleeps ….
Comes home tired husband:
– Honey, what are you prepared for me today?
Adjusting apron, the wife climbed on a stool:
It is already the 15th of February, two hours a night sleeping area. Wild drunken screams to the whole block:
– Murdaaaa, Marinaaa !!! I love you, marry me !!!
After 15 minutes the shouts another voice:
– Muuuusic! Shut up, your Marina has long been married and she has two children!
A five-minute silence and the same voice as the first time:
– Gluck !!! Gluck !!! … “.
– That will give his wife on Valentine’s Day?
– It’s Valentine’s Day, and not a Day married .
February 14, the girl gave me the mug.
I gave her gold earrings.
Still alive the tradition of savages barter gold of glass.
February 14 – Valentine’s Day, and in Germany – the Day the mentally ill.
You say,” Well, it’s just a coincidence “.
I don’t think.
In connection with the influenza epidemic, 14 February the country was declared the Day of the Holy Quarantine.
Valentine’s day recalls the days of the universal flood.
All creatures are split into pairs and going somewhere.
Not going anywhere?
To be alone on Valentine’s Day is the same thing as being lonely the other 364 days of the year.
Do not do from this tragedy.
– I am outraged!
Why erotic program was moved to the second hour of the night?
Previously, only children were undernourished, and now they are even enough sleep.
A call to a brothel:
– Do you have boys?
– Yes, in these services, we also do!
– Me, please, six in Finnish hockey!
My question is about the shelf life of condoms Caucasian seller of the pharmacy gave amazingly concise and, in my opinion, the correct answer:
– Adin time.
– I called the girl a witch, and she was offended.
– And what is a magician?
– Baba Yaga.
And your new girlfriend a good cook?
I remember as a child from the water and sand we did porridge-Malasha? Here she is preparing!