Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood for today 14 February 2018

Jokes for a good mood for today 14 February 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на сьогодні 14 лютого 2018

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– What do you think a couple of frogs and a couple of lovers sitting on the banks of the river?
– God forbid stork will arrive.

***

The couple went to a restaurant for dinner.
They literally devour each other eyes:
– You’re so sweet, I could eat you whole …
– And I do too…
The waiter coughed and asked:
– And to drink something are you?

***

Husband: Honey, where’s the sugar?
Wife: In five years, muddle, could learn
sugar in a jar of coffee that says “Salt.” But now there is none.

***

medical Institute. Starts the lecture. professor:
– Before to start my lecture, I want to tell you a story.
In my youth, I and a friend have been in love with a girl .. Now,
I stayed with the nose … And my friend without a nose.
Write the topic of the lecture: “Syphilis and its symptoms”

***

– Nobody loves me.

– I love you.

– Really hard to be quiet and listen?.

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– Honey, I can’t sleep.

– This is normal. Evil never sleeps ….

***

Comes home tired husband:

– Honey, what are you prepared for me today?

Adjusting apron, the wife climbed on a stool:

– Song!

***

It is already the 15th of February, two hours a night sleeping area. Wild drunken screams to the whole block:

– Murdaaaa, Marinaaa !!! I love you, marry me !!!

After 15 minutes the shouts another voice:

– Muuuusic! Shut up, your Marina has long been married and she has two children!

A five-minute silence and the same voice as the first time:

– Gluck !!! Gluck !!! … “.

– That will give his wife on Valentine’s Day?

– It’s Valentine’s Day, and not a Day married .

***

February 14, the girl gave me the mug.

I gave her gold earrings.

Still alive the tradition of savages barter gold of glass.

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February 14 – Valentine’s Day, and in Germany – the Day the mentally ill.

You say,” Well, it’s just a coincidence “.

I don’t think.

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In connection with the influenza epidemic, 14 February the country was declared the Day of the Holy Quarantine.

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Valentine’s day recalls the days of the universal flood.

All creatures are split into pairs and going somewhere.

Not going anywhere?

So Noah!.

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To be alone on Valentine’s Day is the same thing as being lonely the other 364 days of the year.

Do not do from this tragedy.

***

– I am outraged!

Why erotic program was moved to the second hour of the night?

Previously, only children were undernourished, and now they are even enough sleep.

***

A call to a brothel:

– Do you have boys?

– Yes, in these services, we also do!

– Me, please, six in Finnish hockey!

***

My question is about the shelf life of condoms Caucasian seller of the pharmacy gave amazingly concise and, in my opinion, the correct answer:

– Adin time.

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– I called the girl a witch, and she was offended.

– And what is a magician?

– Baba Yaga.

***

And your new girlfriend a good cook?

I remember as a child from the water and sand we did porridge-Malasha? Here she is preparing!

***

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