Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood for today 14 March 2018

Jokes for a good mood for today 14 March 2018

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на сьогодні 14 березня  2018


Love to tickle her husband in the area of the ribs. It is terribly annoying, jerks all, but I love this. Today sit and play in something. I, as always, pakradouni rear and fingers in the ribs. And there …chain mail.


Before marriage I all lay in their places, and now neatly stacked somewhere.


The impression is that while I don’t throw out the Christmas tree, winter will not go away.


Today, 12:00, will run a rehabilitation centre for male victims of celebrating the 8th of March. The center is located at the address: garazhnyjj KOOPERATIV Gornyak, unit No. 3. We provide comfortable conditions of temporary stay in the centre and a complete package of services: consulting psychologist with 40 years of experience Petrovich, comfort pallets, a grill, a week’s supply of meat, beer, smoked fish and sausages, educational Board games and designer of GAZ-21.


Sometimes you Wake up in the middle of the night and think: well, a nightmare! And then look at my watch and like this: phew.

Until the nightmare of another four hours to sleep.


Explorer, I now get. Tell me, which end of the car to do it better?

– Any, mA’am. Both ends of the car stop at the same time …


– Who is a pessimist?
Is the one who looks right and left before crossing a one-way street.


Johnny goes with his parents on the bridge.


– But why on a bridge railing?


Is that you, little johnny, accidentally from the bridge fell.


Is that you, little johnny, foolishly from the bridge jumped.


I hate when you want to drink tequila on an exotic island in the ocean, and eat buckwheat from the container at work.


Granny Mature grandson:

– Grandson, as the name German, of which I’m crazy?

– Alzheimer’s grandmother, Alzheimer’s …


– Commissioner, today direct in a psychiatric hospital is your best detective.

– In the nuthouse ?! Why?

The physician reported that there are now going for five Napoleons, and you must determine which of them is real.


– Husband said there’s just no spark. I bought a Taser. He wakes up, ask again.


Girl, did you know that on this beach are allowed to sunbathe only in bathing suits without a top?

– And why all the other uppers?

– And the rest we let. They asked – said they have a breast is not beautiful.


Dmitry Kiselyov has surpassed himself in “news week”, accusing the Zaporozhye hydroelectric power station to full energy dependence on Russia, when he learned that the Dnieper river originates in the Smolensk region.


The woman calling to her lover and says:

Come tonight, like to visit.

What she says:

– So your husband is hanging out at home around the clock …

And hear in response:

– Don’t worry, the goat has no – one on the Internet.


The best means from wrinkles – 8 liters of beer for the night!


Cat with a cat playing hide and seek.

The cat says:

– If you catch me, I’m yours, and if you do not catch me, I’m in the closet …


Why Monaco don’t like to play football?

– A very uncomfortable game: the harder you hit the ball and for him to run then to Belgium, then to Germany and then to France.


The Bank breaks the masked robber with a gun and yells:

– Everybody on the floor! Now! And crawl from the wall to the!

The frightened cashier:

– This is a robbery, right?

– No, you fool, not a robbery! Wipe the floor!


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