Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on 8 February 2019

Jokes for a good mood on February 8, 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 8 лютого 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

***

Sunday morning. Balcony 2 ladies from Odessa.

– Sirocco, you sho ill?

– Yes from what you took?

– Why to you every morning the doctor comes?

– Well and what? And if you every morning comes major, Shaw, the war began.

***

– Let’s buy my shoes!

Why?

– Then obimo!

***

– Will you drink?

– No-and-and”.

– What is it?

I got an ulcer.

– Where? In the intestine, in the stomach?

– In the family.

***

If the woman is once again getting married, so he was into it…

***

– My father sold a car to have money for gasoline.

***

– Granddaughters! Call an ambulance – it’s a new account for the apartment and now grandpa will come to watch.

***

The economic news. On the package of buckwheat yet set a weight and not number of grains.

***

The wife laments her husband:

– I was deaf and blind when I married you!

– You see, from any of the diseases I cured you!

***

– What good is your fasting? After all, you did not lose weight.

But a wallet as fat!

***

If a woman is against, it does not mean that she did not agree.

***

It is nice to break and eat a berry straight from the Bush and a cucumber from the garden! Especially from someone else’s garden!

***

– Darling, tell me why do you love me?

Yes, that eye!

– Did you like my gentle and affectionate look?

– No, I did not wear glasses and very poorly seen.

***

The store sports equipment. Buyer:

– And how do I open this parachute?

– Oh! It is our most reliable system. It opens automatically when hitting the ground.

***

– Good there where we are not.

– Not true! Over the moon we are not, and it is cold and empty.

***

Politeness is organized indifference.

***

Of snowfall this year, I do not remember even the old-timers of the village Goduke. As our correspondent found out, recently, the old village Gadyno don’t remember anything.

***

Want to stay with people in a good relationship – do not bother them to lie.

***

The wife says to her husband:

– If you had 2 million, what would you do?

– One million to be spent.

– A second?

– You buy seeds.

– Why so many?

For you to have your mouth was always busy.

***

A young Jew eats in a day of fasting. His old father is outraged:

– Guard what are you doing? Look at me, I’m old and sick, but fasting.

– Dad, don’t worry, neither I nor you will go to heaven. Because I do not observe lent, and you because there is no Paradise.

***

– That is tired, that’s from nervous tension, and it is from depression.

– Thank you doctor. And you have whiskey besides nothing?

***

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