Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on 8 February 2019

Jokes for a good mood on February 8, 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 8 лютого 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.


Sunday morning. Balcony 2 ladies from Odessa.

– Sirocco, you sho ill?

– Yes from what you took?

– Why to you every morning the doctor comes?

– Well and what? And if you every morning comes major, Shaw, the war began.


– Let’s buy my shoes!


– Then obimo!


– Will you drink?

– No-and-and”.

– What is it?

I got an ulcer.

– Where? In the intestine, in the stomach?

– In the family.


If the woman is once again getting married, so he was into it…


– My father sold a car to have money for gasoline.


– Granddaughters! Call an ambulance – it’s a new account for the apartment and now grandpa will come to watch.


The economic news. On the package of buckwheat yet set a weight and not number of grains.


The wife laments her husband:

– I was deaf and blind when I married you!

– You see, from any of the diseases I cured you!


– What good is your fasting? After all, you did not lose weight.

But a wallet as fat!


If a woman is against, it does not mean that she did not agree.


It is nice to break and eat a berry straight from the Bush and a cucumber from the garden! Especially from someone else’s garden!


– Darling, tell me why do you love me?

Yes, that eye!

– Did you like my gentle and affectionate look?

– No, I did not wear glasses and very poorly seen.


The store sports equipment. Buyer:

– And how do I open this parachute?

– Oh! It is our most reliable system. It opens automatically when hitting the ground.


– Good there where we are not.

– Not true! Over the moon we are not, and it is cold and empty.


Politeness is organized indifference.


Of snowfall this year, I do not remember even the old-timers of the village Goduke. As our correspondent found out, recently, the old village Gadyno don’t remember anything.


Want to stay with people in a good relationship – do not bother them to lie.


The wife says to her husband:

– If you had 2 million, what would you do?

– One million to be spent.

– A second?

– You buy seeds.

– Why so many?

For you to have your mouth was always busy.


A young Jew eats in a day of fasting. His old father is outraged:

– Guard what are you doing? Look at me, I’m old and sick, but fasting.

– Dad, don’t worry, neither I nor you will go to heaven. Because I do not observe lent, and you because there is no Paradise.


– That is tired, that’s from nervous tension, and it is from depression.

– Thank you doctor. And you have whiskey besides nothing?