Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on 9 Feb 2019

Jokes for a good mood on 9 February 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 9 лютого 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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– I was at that age when consent of the woman scares me more than failure…

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My children’s punishment turned into adults joy: go to bed early, not to go out, dining dream.

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A tourist asks a local resident:

– I do not tell you how to get to this mountain?

The local looks at the tourist, then the mountain and said:

You want me dog get off me?

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Her husband was watching TV and said aloud:
– Don’t go there. Well, not go fool…
The wife asks:
What do you see? Horror?
Man:
– Our wedding…

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In any house, women always have their own separate room, and there she was partying because she wants the soup cooks, wants washing dishes.

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Everyone knows that happiness is not in money, but still want to see for yourself.

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– I was married 5 times! And now I know what women need!

– Well and what they need?

– A normal guy!

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– There was a time when 1,000 rubles seemed a lot of money.

– You will start to receive pension the time you get back.

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I’m not against the oligarchs and rich people, I’m against the fact that not one of them.

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How much Petrovich tried to make water, yeast and sugar brew all the time was moonshine.

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Vovochka explains to his father why he got a d in math:

– The teacher asked what two times three. I said six. And then he asked, how much is three times two…

– Is not this a hell?

– So I said so.

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The attorney General complains: “as soon As I offer someone to meet, to sit, so they get some business in London appear”.

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– What was the deal with Sergei?

Nothing but two children.

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I do not see any point in further global warming. Now bananas in the shops are cheaper than apples.

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That the boss does not see you drunk on the job, never fall in his eyes sober that it was not something to compare.

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Soon our child will grow up and he’ll have to buy the cage.

– Sasha!

Well, or aviary…

– Sasha!

– What?!

– It’s called the arena! Playpen!

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Look at the people around me and think “How in hell do they all fit?”.

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I have no life, but a solid gain useful experience.

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Is it possible to remove something very close to the sea and cheap?

– There is an option. I tell you buoy bed…

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When I eat oatmeal for Breakfast, like proper healthy food, most of all, I musichouse self-esteem and illusions of instant revitalizing effect.

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Everyone has something about birds and animals. I have wings, my husband – horns.

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“Sharks are less likely to attack people”.

People have become tasteless… Silicone in lipstick.

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Love is blind but marriage is a brilliant optometrist.

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People are divided into those who drink tea without sugar and those who drink tea.

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Wife fills an autobiography for a job and asked lying on the couch of her husband:

– And the place of birth indicate?

Yeah, you still draw…

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– I mother-in-law fishing with me took!

– Well and how?

Disgusting! No one took the bait!

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To shirt taken to the hospital, the patient was pinned a piece of paper on which was written: “Doctor! It’s epilepsy and not appendicitis. Appendicitis I already cut three times.”

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Want to cause jealousy of her husband, bought champagne and told that stranger at the store gave away the wallet and sent for a case of beer.

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