Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on April 7, 2018

Jokes for a good mood on April 7, 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 7 квітня  2018 року

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The girls swam in the lake! Their hopes were dashed!

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I’m proud of two people: Gagarin, and Newton. One tried to get off this planet, and the second proved that the first will not work!

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To lose weight, a friend advised me to eliminate from the diet of coffee, candy, cake, and alcohol.

Here I sit and think … and the girlfriend if she to me?

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– I pretzels bought sugar.

Moron, it’s refined sugar!

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Even on weekends remember that movement is life …

So lying on the couch, slightly pospay leg.

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In the restaurant.

– What have you got first?

There’s just a soup.

– And the second?

– Oh, for a second, well, I don’t even know, though she lay down on the table.

The first is not necessary, two second, please.

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– Here comes Bob. He took a loan and bought a IPhone latest model.

And this is Peter. He did not take out a loan and bought a cheaper alternative, but with the same features.

And what if Peter is different from the washi?

Differs mind and ingenuity.

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If you weigh 100 kg on Earth, on Mars is only 38 kg. You’re not fat, you’re just not on that planet.

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Rada adopted a decision to rename the Dnepropetrovsk in the Dnieper.

Residents of Zaporozhye and Kherson in a state of terrible anxiety.

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Well astronauts – they were never gunde: “Wash tubes wash tubes …”

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New service – pizza in the car! With all the dope in the windshield!

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– Doctor, I somehow no one notices …

– Next!

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Girl you have Boobs?

– There!

– And why would they not wear?

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– How do you Russians eat buckwheat and is still alive?

– And we with vodka.

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Woman – it sounds good and loud, capricious, and often meaningless.

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What you have to do in life:

Hiring two detectives to follow each other.

– Make vanilla pudding. To put it in a jar of mayonnaise. There are in public.

– To become a teacher. To do a test where all the correct answers “B”. To observe the reaction.

– To go to the store, shouted: “What year is it?”. Hearing the answer, run out screaming “it Worked!”.

– To buy a horse, name it “Came first” and participate in races.

– Buy a parrot. To teach him to say “HELP! Turned me into a parrot!”

– While in an Elevator with strangers, to turn to him and say, “You’re probably wondering why I brought You here?”

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If your parents never had children, most likely, and you also will not be!

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I don’t understand why washing hands before eating? Germs are so-and-SOS, and calories.

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He was so drunk that begged shower not to cry.

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Yay! Spring has come! From the snow seemed to the top of my “swallows”!

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