Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on Feb 13, 2019

Jokes for a good mood on February 13, 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 13 лютого 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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Yesterday, standing on the road waiting for their bus. And then, all of a sudden the car stops, waiting for me to cross the road.

Well, not to offend people. Crossed the road when she left – went back.

***

For someone only driving permit and for the inspector – bread card.

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The programmer runs to the police:
– My car is gone!
– You again! And not lost it anywhere, is where left. Remember! 404 – that’s his license plate.

***

The trolley leaves from the visitor and asked the first comer:
Where’s your famous Deribasovskaya?
– So you had four more stops to go!
– I said in the bus that I need to get out!
– Sorry, but you stood or sat?

***

– Why are you a morning trolley run?
– Save money!
– So running for a taxi, the more you save!

***

Two friends:
– What have you got in your hand?
– Newspaper article about the guy who divorced his wife because he climbed in his pockets.
And what you this article was going to do?
– To propagate and to stuff in their pockets.

***

The street is Rabinovich and very carefully carries two watermelons. Meet him Abram:
– Yasho, give me one watermelon.
– I can not. Mother-in-law said, “Yasha, one watermelon will give half of my life!”.

***

– When my wife starts to sing, I go out in the garden, so the neighbors wouldn’t think I was someone tortured in the house…

***

To wean the wife to buy everything that came quite easy!

Just start with her to wash every purchase!

***

Husband comes home from fishing and asks his wife:
– The cat house?
– Come, be not afraid, I sprat bought!

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When the wife goes behind the wheel and turns the wrong way, even the GPS says:
– Well, in principle, it is possible and so…

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I go to bed. I, knowing that tomorrow morning will have a long winding of the shops, I asked my wife:
How long did the alarm clock set?
– Six to fifteen.
– Why such a strange time?
I don’t want to output at six to get up!

***

Male boxer often fought with wife karate.

But the mother-in-law, master of sports in shooting, very quickly stilled them.

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When people ask me how I cope with life’s difficulties, I answer that saves me a sense of humor.

I’m not lying, but tactfully silent about alcohol.

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In my childhood, when I visited my grandmother’s house, was that the outlet in the bedroom is a microphone, and sang her different songs. Stopped doing that when the neighbors are using the same outlet said, “And we all hear”.

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