Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on February 12, 2019

Jokes for a good mood on February 12, 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 12 лютого 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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If you have a headache – then it is.

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Two cows:
You know, I think that they feed us only in order to extort from us our milk and then kill and eat…
– Come on your stupid conspiracy theory! And at you the whole flock will laugh…

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– And you really came to me from the story.
Yes.
– And from what?
– Good.
– Kicked?

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In 20 years of my life, I realized the most important thing – after a plate of buckwheat should be washed immediately.

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The man bought an apartment with the technology of “Smart house”.

While the man was at work, the apartment is left in an unknown direction.

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I have the feeling that communism is still built. But not for all.

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Fifteen years ago, the Gypsy reminded me that all the money I’ll spend on women.

Now I have a wife and three daughters. But fifteen years ago I saw it differently…

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There is a man – cool man, no man – spin the Hoop.

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The policeman asks sublocale store child:
– Why are you crying?
– I parents lost!
– What are their names?
– Sugar and Honey.

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I have no life, but a solid gain useful experience.

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– Damn, how I love you!
– I love you too, muffin!
– I’m not a muffin!
I’m not a pancake!

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I have the impression that in addition to experience I have nothing develops.

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Drinking a lot is harmful, and a little boring. The moral: better not to drink!

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Talking on the phone:
Hello, this veterinary clinic?
Is that bad to you, asshole?

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Western people, when they are bad, go to a psychologist, go to the East himself, and the Russians are coming to visit.

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Don’t take decisions when you are angry. Don’t make promises when you’re happy.

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After the weekend it is only difficult the first five days.

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The phone rings. The tube raises the father of three daughters.
Hey! It’s you my fish?
– No, it’s the owner of the aquarium.

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– Hello, dear, how awful! I split my spanx!
– Sit quietly, doing nothing. I now call MOE.

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– Listen, daughter, don’t let this guy come to you. You know how it worries me!
– Okay mom. Today I will go to him. Now let’s worried his mom.

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I started with nothing and through hard work reached the state of extreme poverty.

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I have a good friend with whom we hardly see, because his wife has a very rare disease.
She’s up to 8 times a year is “birthday” and it was in those days when I invite him to meet.

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In childhood sleep was a punishment, and now – a dream.

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– Going to dinner – eat salad in the fridge…
– It is cold and crowded! Can I eat a salad in the kitchen?

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New Russian morning passed the Mercedes on HUNDRED with the complaint to strong knocks when cornering.

In the evening he gave a conclusion: “Pull it out of the trunk of a bowling ball!”.

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– Misha, how after everything we had to say to me that you remember my name?!
– Honey, I’m Vova…

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