Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on January 12, 2019

Jokes for a good mood on January 12, 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 12 січня 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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We live in a society where pizza arrives faster than an ambulance.

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Toilet.

Two booths. It is the same groaning of both…

– (crushed) Constipation?

– (As depressed) yeah…

Five minutes in one of the booths: – plop!..

– (crushed) Congratulations…

– (crushed) nothing, it’s a cell phone…

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– I’m why you were unavailable? I thought you had no money.

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Candy in the family are divided into 2 types:

1. Delicious.

2. And let the dad eat!

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Patience – a great quality, but life is too short to long endure.

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Life hack:

If you are tired and badly want to sleep and your home is very noisy kids, tell them to Wake you up in 30 minutes, so we started cleaning the house. They will do just about anything, only not to Wake you up.

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The announcement at the border post: “Dear fellow busters! In connection with the lack of ammunition warning shots in the air no longer manufactured!”.

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– When you see a drunken man at 11 am, I was always tormented by one question: “Still or already?”

And envy torments you, not the question!

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In the bus an elderly woman tries to give place to a very thin young man:

– Sit down poor you what the worst is? Sick or what?

– No thank you. I’m a student.

– Well, let’s at least cloak your hold!

– It’s not cloak, this is my friend nick!

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Hurt those who love you – they already have managed…

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I’m starting to understand Napoleon, who slept 4 hours a day.

So it was a strange, aggressive and wanted to kill.

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The first half of 2019 will be tough, but then go mushrooms and berries.

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– Dear Fairy! The money ran out, shoes lost, the Prince threw. Sit, drink vodka, help me OUT!

– My Dear Cinderella! The crisis in the country! Stick took, all the property described! Come, drink vodka. (Your Fairy).

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A man sitting on a bench with an extremely upset face. To him comes a man and says:
– What are you, brother, upset? What’s the matter?
– Sit next to me, I will tell.
A man sits.
– The fact that the bench is painted…

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– I’m on the only TV channel about animals look!

– Everything channels about animals, except for discovery… the one about animals!

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One friend told.

He walked home from work, carried in the bag a can of gold paint – decorated the booth at work. And there comes to him a Gypsy and arrogantly demands: “cross my palm with silver!” I think what happened next is so clear…

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Meet 2 friends:

– What’s new?

– Married!

– Yes? And how’s your wife? Beautiful?

Yeah! All say looks like the virgin Mary!

Is there a photie? Show me!

– Here, look!

-… Mmatter Boogie…

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