Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on March 15, 2019

Jokes for a good mood on March 15, 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 15 березня 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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Looking for a job forget where it is!

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Thou shalt not oppress smokers and so they live less!

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Grandpa, how you without the Internet lived?
What’s that, a hole in the wall drilled.

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– Who was with you in difficult times?
– Usarc…

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– Why don’t you like women?
I don’t know how to cheat!

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No need to look to the future – why once again make you upset.

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– Where steeper: at school or University?
– In the garden.

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My character is wonderful, only nerves are all some weak…

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– You socks ever change?
– Sometimes, but only for vodka.

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They say if you look at the world sober, you can drink.

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For firefighters, the most unpleasant is when the burn tube.

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If you are worried that your child knows your phone number, just set your number and the password of your home computer.

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The husband returns from the Internet, and there his wife with a TV is changing.

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– Stas, I’m on the Internet chatting with this girl I met! She is 17 years old, she is young and pure, beautiful like a goddess and wants to meet me.
And her name is Isolde accidentally?
– How do you know?
– Well, Hello, Anthony.

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– How to get acquainted in Internet with girl?
– Take her somewhere. For example, the website of a good restaurant.

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Children can not be online. From the children’s Internet grows dull.

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– Son, it’s immoral to look for a life partner with the help of a computer!
– Father, how are you and mom meet?
– I’m fine, I cards won it!

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It’s time for doctors to adopt the Golden rule of programmers: “If it works – don’t touch that!”.

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Go to the doctor to hear the disease is called, and then read about it on the Internet.

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In North Korea there is no Internet to give people not learned that rice is only a side dish.

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– No, I have animals at home, you cannot start it. I even cuckoo in the clock died.
– How is it dead?
– And that’s it. Watch the wrong side of the wall nailed.

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– Mommy, buy me a monkey!
– What are you talking about, Pete! What are you going to feed?
– You buy me a monkey from the zoo. There’s a sign: “Feed the monkeys is prohibited”.

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Wife brought the second cat. The first cat thinks it would be better if I brought a second wife.

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As soon as I have another bright dream, so it immediately prohibit by law the deputies. This indicates a definite psychic link between the people and the people’s servants.

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Decided to go on a diet. Instead of meat and sausages bought apples, bananas, instead of beer, kefir.
Became ill by lunchtime.

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– Your life motto?
– Don’t Wake up before lunch!
– And then?
– To know with food the joy of meeting, and to the TV to lie down.

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– You after a dinner that usually do?
– Dinner is waiting…

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– Aunt Natasha goes, what do you say?
I do not know.
– Well, what do I always say?
– Finally left me whore! Again, all the sausage and cheese is eaten!

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A woman on a diet is several times more expensive.

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The wife says to her husband:
– Honey, we got a lot of guests, not enough chairs. Go to your neighbors and sit until they…

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Traffic policeman stops a car and asks:
– A first aid kit?
– No, but with me goes the nurse.

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One girl:
You know why I’m marrying a doctor? Because if I get sick, I always cure.
Other:
And I’m marrying a priest. If I sin, he forgive my sins.

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Bob thought his new girlfriend might be the one that he had sought for so long.

But after he rummaged through her drawer and found a nurse’s uniform, a form of French maid uniform and women police, he finally decided that if she can’t hold down a job, she is not for him.

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