Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on the 11th of April 2018

Jokes for a good mood on April 11, 2018.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 11 квітня  2018 року

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Jealous – it means love. Not jealous so knows nothing!

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Today, three of the richest Russians have lost $ 12 billion.
Tomorrow look for them in the pockets of other Russians.

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How was your night? – Legs flowed and in the mouth is horrible …

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The steeper the jeep, the farther to run to the village for a tractor.

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– Male! You would here his upbeat mood to swing!

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– And you on the string can take? ..
– Easily … unwinding! ..

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Wife argues that according to the custom before Easter it is necessary to make the tree.
Probably lying, always on the may have endured.

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Helpful advice to girls:

– The most important thing on a first date

– NOT to snore!

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– Can I have something to tell?

– No, you just like, look.

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Wife says will give the child a boiled egg, but only protein. The yolk he’s not eating.

Damn, my stick deodorant is eaten, the soap took a bite and chewed, but he doesn’t eat the yolk!

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At a girlfriend’s husband was a trick: when she returned home, called him and said:

“I’m coming, you better hide your mistresses.” All in jest, of course.

One time she called and came without warning.

And he hid mistresses. Two.

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Today in broad daylight caught my husband sleeping.

He tried to change the bed linen, entangled in the duvet cover and simply ceased to fight.

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– Today, – says the wife to her husband, we will divide household duties equally. The child is our common and we’ll rock it in the cradle just you, just me.
At night, the wife wakes up her husband:
– Yasha, the baby is crying.
– So you, Sara, swing my half and let my crying.

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– Fima, are you satisfied with your wife?
– Of course. The only thing I can imagine to wish the following was not worse.

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– Lucy, is it true that you divorced your husband?
Yes.
– Who’s the lucky guy?

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The car – not luxury, and means of presenting income to others.

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Justice where all honestly earn money. That is, nowhere.

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Modern feminism’s fight for women’s equality over men.

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Tired of the critical days – change the floor!

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He homev as if his pocket had a spare jaw …

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I saw in this life many interesting things, but a group of men 40 years, relying on earbuds bass songs of Verka Serduchka, it is something new.

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Economic crisis. The wife says to her husband:

– Honey, now what do we do with the money we’ve saved on the car?

We had grandchildren, though they are chocolate buy!

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The flag of France consists of strips of the same color as the Russian, but vertical.

What is the difference in the standard of living! That means geometry!

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– Where the childhood leaves? Where it plays!

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– Excuse me, could you tell me what to do, so as not to sweat at work?

– Well, what we don’t know, but if that’s what we think, then I advise you not to cover yourself with a blanket.

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– It’s amazing how you can sleep at work?

And don’t ask a colleague. The damn machine so knocks!

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If the rest often, the tire will not catch.

This is the secret to work properly.

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– Will work well, I get wages in September, will increase.

Yes you got already! Do Not pay wages, but all the time increase!

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