Smile a new day. Jokes for a good mood on the 14th of January 2019

Jokes for a good mood on 14 January 2019.

Посміхніться новому дню. Анекдоти для доброго настрою на 14 січня 2019 року

Positive emotions are important to humans, it is therefore necessary to regularly replenish the good mood of cheerful anecdotes, informs Rus.Media.

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– Well, finally tea! – cried the liver… and lost consciousness.

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Before about something to dream, think, and suddenly will come true.

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Would be better if we celebrated the New year not in winter and in summer. Then we would have 10 days did not go to work, for example, in July.

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Wives are as commissioners, and as political officer. First go with the men to conquer the most impregnable and dangerous peaks, and the second capriciously dictate to partners what and in what terms it is necessary to conquer.

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Woman buying socks, he asks what it Jersey, well the fabric breathes, is interested in the producer country.

A man in the habit of silently sniffing.

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A young boy goes to his father:
– Dad, I’m getting married.
– Yes? How did the name your darling?
– Fyodor.
Is this kid?!
– Wow, this kid is 28 years old.

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The car “Oka” gape at the crosswalk and was hit by a pedestrian…

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There is a lesson. The teacher checks the homework:
– Peter, why haven’t you done your homework?
– A sprained foot.
– Get two. Bob, why aren’t you ready?
– Grandmother is sick.
– Get two. Vovochka, why are you not done?
– Brother from the area returned.
Don’t tell me brother scare, get, three.

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My husband does not recognize the power!
– Anarchist?
There’s an anarchist! He is the Deputy…

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Philip Kirkorov ask:
– What’s most important to you in life?
Well, the most important thing is to age and to marry her.

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– Age is just a number. It does not define a person’s mind and his Outlook on life. It depends not on past years, and by their circumstances in life.
– The young man show either a passport, or place the bottle in place.

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One day I decided to show off to the girls in the store and told the cashier: “keep the change” and she answer me: “There is not enough”.

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– Oh! My grandson, Yes you have a fever!?
– No, grandma, it’s just you cool down!

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– Do you think the Chinese are a peace-loving nation?
What are you talking about! You just give them a rifle – eyes already half-closed!

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– Doctor, help.
– What happened?
– I can’t see, and she wants me.
– I can not help. Will have to go to serve the country. Fit.

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Believe me, if a woman is alone solves all the problems at home, think about the love of her husband just once!

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– Masha, stop to catch pokémon, you have to learn.
– Why grandpa can play Tamagotchi?
Grandpa is old, he’s senile.
– I don’t want to learn, want insanity!

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Answering machine:
– Good day! It is the centre for the study of blondes. If you want to work with us – kunt after the beep.

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The old woman comes to the Bank and withdraws all the money from your contribution. After an hour, returned and again puts the same amount. Surprised at the question teller says:
– Son, I only count took…

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One cognac dilates blood vessels, others – more self-esteem.

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I want to look like “look what you lost”, but as it turns out only as, “look at the time you ran away”.

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– Why are you the dog hunting with him do not take?
– Yeah, well it. I’ll shoot, and she finds and digs in.

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Pilot Petrov, Petrov the pilot, get in touch! Now, if you can hear me, push the wings!
Manager, Manager, three hours ago I landed! Now, if you can hear me, push the tower.

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Good luck allow to forget about the mistakes and failures develop memory.

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