To mourn a loved one without having seen it from

Faire le deuil d’un être cher sans l’avoir vu partir

In the current context of pandemic, hundreds of families have recently learned of the death of a loved one while not having been able to be with them in the last days, the last moments. They have often been unable to speak to them or touch them one last time. In normal times, the ability to ” grieve “, as the saying goes, is facilitated by our presence with the end-of-life.

When imagination is a bad advisor

Accompany a loved one in death, talk to her, hold her hand, stand by his side, sometimes even a few hours after he has made the soul, all this calms down and allows you to begin the process of mourning. This is why the death sudden, tragic, in addition to the pain, as if this invaluable time had been stolen from the family. The sidelining forced due to the pandemic evokes some of the terrifying images of the last moments, sometimes far away from reality. This is no longer the situation that creates trauma, but the vision that one has in fact. The imagination is not always a good counsellor, it can have a tendency to dramatize to the utmost. It must attempt, to the extent possible, avoid to imagine the worst-case scenarios, and imagine the most soothing.

A test cross… in several steps

All of us are afraid of death, suffering physical and psychological prior to the last breath, and total solitude. The departure of a loved one can inflict a shock, giving rise to painful reactions, such as anger, denial, despair, as well as a relaxation of our daily habits. We must never lose sight of the fact that after the “descent to hell” will come to a slow climb to a certain serenity. And each person will pass through these different stages at their own pace.

Giving yourself permission to be sad

The containment is not easy for anyone, but is an opportunity for the bereaved to take some time off the hustle and bustle of the pre-COVID-19 does not always. The pandemic robs the loved ones to get together, but it invites us to find refuge in ourselves to bring us closer to the loved one who has passed away.

Death is tamed slowly, by taking refuge in a bubble, letting his mind wander, setting the horizon, simply. Immerse yourself in the memories, the letters, the photos can do some good, to make these objects the symbol of our link with the deceased person. Sometimes, a significant belonging to the person may also contribute to the process of mourning. Despite the fact that families could see each other in person, talk on the phone or by videoconference with the bereaved families, share memories of good times, brings comfort.

Mark the departure, regardless of the manner in

The celebrations funeral are not yet permitted, but there is nothing to prevent the modest ceremonies, while following the safety instructions. Take a moment with people living under one roof to honour the memory of the deceased, remembering his affection, it’s as many opportunities to relieve her pain. Around a meal or during a virtual exchange, all formulas are possible. But they should never replace the funeral rites : see, but do not cancel— no, because they play a vital role— in the mourning process.

As in all the circumstances of the death of a loved one, it is necessary to give time to the time to tame the mourning, to give a meaning and going through this difficult ordeal. I offer my most sincere sympathies to the families who are going through a bereavement, my thoughts are with them.

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