Umid Zelensky

Умид Зеленский

You all certainly know that Moscow found double Zelensky. Right on the subway and found. “Copy” is identical. Almost identical twins. As our and Zoryan Shkiryak: the fucking difference. Name double Umid, he arrived in the Russian capital of Sunny Uzbekistan and works in the service station. He had to work a little on the low chest voice, as our leader, and generally can be released at a press conference without make-up. Ukrainian language Umid probably owns the same amount, and Zelensky. So no problem with the substitution does not arise. Why is it important?

Умид Зеленский

Because our Zelensky broke, and have to “carry” the other. Another presidential election in the country does not outsource, so the substitution should be carried out at night. Igor still, a clown sings his “wishlist” — Zelensky or Uzbek mechanic-painter. In addition, there is the head of the Office of the President Andriy Bogdan. He knows everything. If Umid confusing will help.

Now a closer look at the causes of the failure of the “original”. Not pulled Volodya… In October, he abruptly began to fall rating. Had fallen by almost ten percent, and everybody in the office was bustling, including Kolomoisky. The rating is the main indicator of the effectiveness of invested in capital Zelensky. When he falls, everyone is nervous and not know what to do. Now try to save the situation with the arrests of the former government. Those unexpectedly turned out to be corrupt. As, with ka…, amazing! The first went to former head of the parliamentary Committee on national security and defence Sergiy Pashinsky. He has an amazing resemblance to the older chimp. As Zelensky with his Uzbek counterpart. Also one to one, but Pashinsky bald and with a “Glock”. The gun was given to him by the current Minister of internal Affairs Arsen Avakov in memory of the battles with the Buryat spetsnaz. Three years ago this animal (Pashinsky, Avakov not) emptied a Glock into a passerby. The head of the Committee returning in the new year’s eve out of the theater when he saw a stalled “minivan”, which was pushing some guy. Naturally, the animal was armed and jumped out to swing right. Type slowly pushing, I’m in a hurry at your country enclosure to meet NG. Guy sent it to the address, and when I saw that the words do not reach, gave the head with a bottle. Pashinsky regarded it as an attack on the “statesman” and opened fire. Brow was shot in the leg. Naturally, he became a hero of the nation. Not a chimp in the character of the head of the Committee, and a man. To break a bottle of beer on his bald head Pashinsky — it’s worth it.

The case, of course (sorry for the tautology), was hushed up. “Hero of war”, the former head of the presidential administration, the best friend Turchinov (former Secretary of the security Council) and Parubiy (former speaker of Parliament — a moron). And only when the rating of our Zelensky began to fall, Pashinsky locked in “monkey” and was sentenced to detention for the period of investigation. It should be noted that the plant “the Creature” (as he affectionately known to colleagues in Parliament) could be for more interesting things. As part of an organized criminal group (Turchynov, Parubiy, Poroshenko) “animal” is actively stealing money from “Ukroboronprom”. His son is no less active “mastered” means the position of the top Manager of “UkrSpetsExport”. Also on the military side, only international in scope. Video daddy came up with the scheme of “modernization of the APC”. Purchased in Poland towers for the price of pure gold, screwed on the washed-up corps of armored vehicles of Soviet manufacture and sell these monsters for the price of “Abrams” the great Ukrainian army. Terms “aggressor”, that is you, Russians, such activity deserves a reward. But here it is no,…a minute, she doesn’t. In short, took the easiest episode and shut down. And the rating does not grow. What to do? In my opinion, the most effective way is to write from Moscow, the Uzbek. However, the “team green reformers” decided to continue the series of arrests. The second “target” of the legendary first Deputy (former) of the Turchinov. Ex-Secretary of the security Council. Only he sat at the trial of Pashinsky, accompanied his sister at the camera as “tied” his Deputy.

Gladkovsky, better known by their “maiden” names Svinarchuk (she did perfect), also organized in the days of the Clinton gang, specializing in the supply of Russian components Ukrainian military equipment. As Pashinsky, Svinarchuk added his son to the profitable smuggling of all sorts of details on the armor APU at exorbitant prices. Son hired two companions-majors, and it went. Before the elections, Kolomoisky leaked information about business Svinarchuk journalists grant. Those just ran out of grants and the new money was Oh so necessary. Scandal. “Parkaboy” while trying to submit Svinarchuk as heroes of the nation, because they risked their lives, got the right parts in the “aggressor state”. But then it turned out that many components of the people with pork surname acquired in Ukraine. Just pretend that they are obtained by smuggling. The case turned loud, Poroshenko constantly threw a stuffed pig at his campaign events. Guess the “Swinget” — as it was called here — great to have undermined the rating of Peter Alekseevich. Svinarchuk was his long-term business partner. Together they started to handle the scrap metal collected bus “Bogdan”. Rare, I must say, a monster. Real autoblock.

For a long time the family of the smugglers was not touched. But, as we have already noted, the rating began to fall, Umid still continues to work in the service… in Short, had a “brilliant operation to arrest”. Covered all in the restaurant. It turns out that all the family Svinarchuk gathered in Brussels on “the international exhibition of buses”. Just before the arrest of the head of the family. And then came the special forces to NAB (National anti-corruption Bureau of Ukraine) — horrific and incorruptible, which tied Svinarchuk older. Prior to this, the guards at the airport “Borispol” is hinted to someone, that question can and fix. But he got greedy. But his colleague Kononenko — a former army buddy Poroshenko, “decided” on business issues, immediately understood the hint. And, most importantly, constantly carried with him the required amount of cache. So quietly flew to Istanbul, and not acquainted with the terrible forces of NABOO. From Istanbul Kononenko is going to fly on the “big tennis tournament” in China. To return Home he not soon. You know: so far all the Chinese people stop playing tennis, will take years. Perhaps, decades.

Back to Svinarchuk senior. Right after detention he went on hunger strike. It is understandable, because the tied it in the restaurant. After a hearty snack and go hungry. The doctors recommend. Took him to court which showed quite trifling charges: peddling Belarusian auto parts, passing them off as their own, and the wife forgot to specify in its tax return underground Parking. The same planting scheme as in the case of Pashinsky: took on the case on which he could at least something to show. About “Swinegate” no one even hinted. The Prosecutor requested the arrest or bail of 100 million hryvnia. We agreed on ten million, and when you read these lines, Svinarchuk already appetizing was super fresh borschets. The rating Zelensky is unlikely to go up sharply.

In the course of, and with landings corrupt he screwed up. After a couple of months out and Pashinsky. That’s all he did. Tried to implement the “formula Steinmeier,” but agreed in the end to the point that it is necessary to “dissolve the self-proclaimed DND and LNR”. Peaceful settlement set, “Norman format” went on, which is rumored to have Yulia Tymoshenko. Of course, the rating will fall. Again on the streets of Kiev have brought a steady population of nationalists with habitat in the Lviv, Ternopil and Ivano-Frankivsk regions. They threatened to make a “Steinmeier-independence” vs. “surrender.” In the office of the leader wrought. Began to zigzag and only exacerbated the situation. The population of nationalists went back to pre-Maidan strength. Though they multiply, but zadolbali his “passionarity” the majority of the population. Zelensky and can not cope with them. Goddamn scared. Perhaps, the Uzbeks will help us?

Another factor in the falling ratings, ze became his Prime Goncharuk. The President personally lobbied him, and he quickly turned dollars…om. Riding on electric scooter in the Cabinet he still forgave. Well, cranky guy demonstrates a new approach. But then he imposed a small business dues, imposed everywhere the broken cash registers, did the tobacco industry is the nation’s unprofitable and has decided to tax the taxi drivers. Started with a vague excitement. And in the midst of discontent Goncharuk go to a concert of neo-Nazi rock band “Axe of Perun” in Kyiv pub “Docker”, favored by neo-fascists. He got burned specifically. Do not save even the screaming on Facebook that the Prime Minister just wanted to congratulate the “ATO veterans” from the “day of defender of the nation”, which is celebrated in Ukraine on October 14. Who knew that there begins to act as fascists. The rating Goncharuk fell and pulled a rating of Zelensky.

Since we’re all here to read the transcript of a telephone conversation of the President of Ukraine with Donald trump, you know — “new attorney General Ryaboshapka — hundred percent man Zelensky”. As it turned out, it is not so. Or rather, not so. Ruslan first forbidden to write the suspicions the ex-President of Petro Poroshenko. De facto blocked a very promising direction of investigations concerning the Panama offshore our Marauder. Then he tried to resuscitate a number of dead cases against the “henchmen of Yanukovych”. According to the new announced suspicions of the ex-Minister of justice since the “dictator” Helen Lukash and former leader of the ‘ OL ‘ Ephraim. Then Ryaboshapka was recruited by the insidious agents of the US Democratic party, who advised him to eat all criminal proceedings relating to corruption ex-Vice-President of the USA Joe Biden and his son hunter. They’ve stuck to gas the Ukrainian campaign “Borism” and happily sucked somewhere $ 16.5 million. To drop in the rankings see this issue is not directly related, because everything here monophonically Biden. But this episode accelerates the need to replace Zelensky by the Uzbeks, as the Ukrainian President to give key testimony in the U.S. on charges of impeachment trump. I think Umid is much better to cope with this case, because it does not know what “Ryaboshapka of one hundred percent man.”

I can list the reasons for the fall of the rating see. Starting from the collapse of its parliamentary monocausality of the “servants of the people” and ending with attempts to revive the ideologies of the times, Poroshenko — “the army, MOV, faith.” Not for the person voted 73 per cent of Ukrainians. Let’s try with the Uzbek. In the end, someone we know. Afghan Nayyem started the “European revolution”, the Georgians, it was continued. And know the name of the new Deputy Prosecutor General of Ukraine? Gunduz Mammadov. Almost countryman Umida. Only from Azerbaijan. Also Ukrainian.

Alexander Zubchenko

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