Under tension: how to resist the aggressors and the head-tyrant

Под напряжением: как правильно противостоять коллегам-агрессорам и начальнику-тирану 

If your working day begins with a “debriefing” from the leadership and opposition colleagues, tending to put you in the bad light, it is likely you know how difficult it is to maintain composure and not go “nowhere”, slamming the door.After all, there is no guarantee that the new place will be perfect, so it’s best to try to change the current situation and to derive maximum benefit.About how to resist abusers without compromising the psyche and, of course, career — Passion in the material.EN.If on Monday morning you almost with tears in her eyes cross the threshold of the office and counting the days until the end of the week, then most likely it is not in your immediate duties, and the chief, who literally took you off in traffic, and colleagues, do not hesitate to resist you “read” and substitute the blue.And even if you are a professional, it does not guarantee that your path will not meet such tyrants and aggressors, which you want to change not only the workplace, but also, perhaps, the scope of activities. Understand how to correct the situation and turn it in their favor.Bosses are tyrants are known for their total control (causing literally minutes to paint your entire working day), constantly criticizing, blaming and becoming personal. If in office they adhere to very strict rules of conduct, the home can be quiet and unobtrusive, preferring to submit its second half.Many “autocratic” managers think that if you once give up the slack, the staff will literally sit them on the neck, with the result that productivity will fall and, accordingly, the company’s profit.So they try to avoid such developments, choosing authoritarian management style, and preferring to become the chief, whom everyone feared, and, therefore, in his opinion, respect.It is clear that the office no one will hire you to babysit, but if you are satisfied with the wages, the terms of reference and future career (if not immediately, but in the foreseeable future), then you can try to change this in order not to fall into depression or burn out prematurely. No matter what colleagues add fuel to the fire — if done competently, their actions will turn against them.3 things, which in any case can not do, not to stay at”I can shout too, and how!”Psychologists are reminded that in this case shouting will get you nowhere — your behavior will cause an even larger wave of aggression with which to deal will be really difficult.Even if you feel that a little more and you get mad and throw in the face of the offender an important paper, like computer along with other equipment, on the floor, break a door or window, anything good does not Shine.With the “tarnished reputation”, bad advice and an appropriate level in the workbook (alas, but some offended the chefs are not averse to such things) you will be hard to hope for some decent option, because of the company you will be asked to clearly.The chief will not leave you alone until you disappear behind the door (and in this case he will be offended and come up with a plan in place, believe me). Therefore, the idea of “yell and sigh with relief” swept aside at once and looking for more effective options.”Nothing can be done, will have to take”the Other extreme is to humbly accept all the attacks of the manual and envious colleagues. Psychologists say that if you just remain silent and take no action, you can earn a nervous breakdown and other health problems. Believe that such an outcome you don’t want.Besides, once you give the boss a feel for what really is a mediocre employee and is ready to do everything just not to lose your job, you start to hang additional duties and to demand from you is almost impossible.Needless to say that any additional remuneration (premiums or bonuses) we are not even talking?”If you continue to harass me, I quit”to Put an ultimatum is not worth it, say experts. After all, the boss may perceive it as a challenge and quickly to meet your request. Why wait, if you yourself wish?Besides, as we know, no one is irreplaceable and, who knows, perhaps tomorrow, a decent (and more lively) candidate will take your place in the company.Council of psychologists do not attempt to manipulate the head: otherwise you can to stay out of work much earlier than you planned.What you can (and should do) to put in place a fellow aggressor or the head of a despot-“you Have a very interesting point of view, will take note”If you can’t limit contact with such people, try not to go for provocations, always be polite and helpful.Tell the person something nice about his hair or outfit, and at the same time emphasize that his point of view seemed to you interesting, in case of need, you are sure to get back to her.Most importantly, according to psychologists, not to be a conflict that could trigger a new wave of aggression and misunderstanding.”25 again the”Technique “broken record” is very effective when dealing with people trying to manipulate you (or causing you to reciprocal aggression).In other words, what would they not say, you can stick to their point of view, submitting the same information from different angles.In this case, it is important that you shut off emotions and monotonously repeated the same thing, while others never get bored. In the end, the aggressors will realize that the sense from you, they will not achieve and will switch to another victim.”I admit I made a mistake, but have already found a solution”not to sit in the hope that your mistake is noticed by your boss or colleagues, who dream to survive you out of the office as soon as possible, muster the courage to tell about his mistake.But first, think of how you can quickly (and costly) to rectify the situation, and then additional questions (as well as any penalties) to you does not arise.And in any case do not stoop to self-flagellation, otherwise you just paint yourself into a dead end and will exacerbate the situation.”Beautiful weather, isn’t it?”Psychologists recommend to act outside the box to the attacks of the aggressor, or to answer politely pointed out, or quite unexpectedly. It is usually those people expect a response, so your non-standard behaviour can confuse or leave you alone.In other words, what good is it to get a person who absolutely does not give them the expected emotions, instead it is better to find someone who will be more receptive to such actions and not be able to fight back.”No flattery, only the truth”Another mistake, which allowed many workers, faced with a similar attitude — begin to flatter offenders in the hope to change their relationship and even support.Alas, but it has the opposite effect and instead of the expected “warming” they get a new barrage of negativity, criticism and aggression.Usually, such people very quickly recognize the deception and then use these tricks against you as themselves.”Sorry, but I don’t play these games”Instead of getting involved in squabbles and disassembly, it is better to define its position, stating that you respect other people’s opinion, but do not intend to take sides.Psychologists say that the less you will take part in the intrigues, the more chances that you will not be asked to write a statement of their own at the first opportunity.And regardless of, whatever happens, stay calm and polite, otherwise you will give the aggressors a new reason to attack.

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