Smooth, smooth and a perfect relationship does not exist. Sooner or later the couple is faced with differences and contradictions, then it is important to learn how to sort things out, so as not to exacerbate the problem.
To your attention four ways to properly Express their dissatisfaction in a relationship, not to quarrel forever.
1. Identify something that annoys you
If you are irritated by the music, by listening to your partner, or that he leaves a Cup of coffee somewhere horrible, his Hobbies, idea of a joke or unclosed tube of toothpaste, you should not categorically state that it infuriates you.
First, try to determine the specific cause of your anger, and to understand, not whether it directly depends on your mood. For example, today you came home tired and almost annoyed and annoying. And other days you don’t pay attention to coffee cups all over the apartment and a tube of toothpaste.
To begin with – clearly specify the problem, but anybody about it does not say.
2. Stay alone and find the true cause of the discontent
Find a quiet place where you can be alone to think things over and discuss. You’ve already taken the first and important step is tracked an unpleasant feeling, he realized what his action has caused and even trying not to say anything in a rude manner to your partner.
Try alone to consider their experiences from different angles and maybe even say it out loud. Remember how long this habit of your partner start to irritate and cause negative emotions. Often a tube of toothpaste – just a tube, but it has become a symbol of internal conflict which involved a loved one.
An example would be the desire of your partner to spend Saturday in front of the TV, watching a football match. But annoying you’s not the fact of its location, and the fact that you want his attention and to spend a weekend together.
3. Specify your problem
When you have identified the true reason, which is causing you such strong emotions, it means that the problem is given concrete form, and does not remain something abstract. Then you need to reformulate the problem, replacing accents with a partner on your feelings: instead of “You’re annoying me”, it is important to say “I feel sad or upset I don’t have enough…”
4. A conversation with a partner
You cooled down a bit, has done some serious work, now is the time to talk with your partner and discuss all that boiling. When your emotions have settled, and you’ve realized the true cause of the irritation is, you can tell all to your partner, but not necessarily, changing the focus from the irritating object (a tube of paste, with a Cup of coffee) in the sense that it causes you. During a call, avoid value judgments and does not require the partner to change.
During the story talk about what you feel, what you want and be sure to show that we are for dialogue.
Any problems can be solved if to approach to their decision right. And yet, please be patient, because the problems, especially if they accumulated over the years, after one conversation does not disappear. But the process will already be started and you will only have to fulfil the conditions of the truce.